Terry Ito Column Vol.26 If a man leaves the house, he will have seven enemies

There is a proverb that says, "When a man leaves home, he will have seven enemies," but even if they are not exactly enemies, there are trials in everyday life.

As the summer heat increases, more and more women are using parasols on the streets. This is a pain. The tip of the parasol is right where my face is. If it were an umbrella, I could protect myself, but I don't use one. The other day, two women using parasols were engrossed in their conversation and came towards me side by side. Without noticing me, the tip of their umbrella slammed into my face. Ouch! They just walked away. What a horrible story. The ordeal continues. I suddenly had to use the restroom at Tokyo Station, so I rushed in, but there was a line for the private rooms. When I finally got in, the previous person had forgotten to flush... What's so sad that I have to watch this? The world is scary. Where should I direct my anger? I like taking morning walks in the park. The refreshing sunlight filtering through the trees in the early morning is calming. But when I step in dog poop, it's painful, too painful. My day suddenly feels blue. I wash the soles of my shoes at the park's water fountain. It's so sad.

By the way, aren't cars too big these days? SUVs 1900cm wide are common. The other day, when I went to the supermarket, large vehicles were parked on both sides of an empty space. Even after finally managing to park, it was a struggle to get out. When I returned after buying groceries, the door was difficult to open. The ordeal continues. It happened at the movie theater. The woman sitting next to me was exuding a strong perfume. It made me dizzy and my ability to think was fading. I was so distracted that I couldn't concentrate on the movie and my mind drifted. What should I do in a situation like this? The ordeal never ends. While driving through a residential area on my way home, a passenger got off the bus and ran across the lane in front of the bus onto the sidewalk on the other side. It was so scary. The moment I tried to pass a stopped bus on the right, it suddenly jumped out. I understand the desire to get home, but I wish it would stop. The recent trend of rude electric scooters and bicycles is also shortening the lives of drivers.

The biggest challenge is when I'm talking face to face with someone who is obviously wearing a wig. I really don't know where to look. And it's misaligned. This is bad. I find myself staring at them the whole time during the meeting. "Where did they buy this wig? How much did it cost? Didn't they get any advice from their family or friends?" I can't stop fantasizing. My doubts only grow. "But wait a minute, isn't this person using this unnatural wig to test my character? If so, they must be too important."

They say there are seven enemies in the world, but there may be more. You must never let your guard down for even a moment. In this world that is like a labyrinth of demons, you must live with a sense of alertness.

Terry Ito (director)

Born in Tsukiji, Tokyo in 1949. After attending Waseda Jitsugyo Junior and Senior High School, he graduated from Nihon University's School of Economics.
In March 2023, he completed the Master's program at the Graduate School of Media and Governance at Keio University.
He joined the television production company IVS Television, where he worked on variety shows such as "Tensai Takeshi's Genki ga Deru TV" and "Neruton Benikujidan."
He then went independent and worked on planning and directing a number of television programs, including TV Tokyo's "Asakusabashi Young Clothing Store."
His book "Comedy North Korea" became a bestseller, and he subsequently made numerous media appearances under the name Terry Ito.
In addition to his work as a director, he is also active in a variety of fields as a producer, entertainer, and commentator.
YouTube channelTerry Ito's Comedy Backdrop'
Currently writing a column in LALALA USA
https://lalalausa.com/archives/category/column/terry